Treasured

Expedient indenture

My inventor

For all I am I want to let go

The light bulb lost its glow

The ink on my paper had dried and settled

In thoughts of love and sadness where I meddled

Still I try to erase the memory of you

What do I do?

The walls close in and I am trapped

Breathing in the dark of space

The energy in the air slowly sapped

As the expression leaves my face

I was happy… so happy

But sadly

I will never be again

© The Sad Owl

Fantasize

Often with a pair of headphones on, I will sit in this room listening to oft-melancholic music. Strange for someone that has been referred to as having accomplished so much and revered for both my so-called patience and calmness. I’m not sure whether my time spent gathering knowledge has been an endeavor well sought or if I have simply only created leeway in which others may possibly benefit from my insights, none of my time is ever saved in this process [by the way]. This is probably pretty confusing so far and I apologize insincerely for that. Most things I find beautiful are misconstrued and for that reason I ask that you wait a moment and allow the nature of this structure to simply settle.

Right. Here’s the thing, I don’t even know you but I can already say that I don’t love you anymore. Don’t be hurt though, when was it that I loved you anyways, right?

Wrong. I think you know when. From the very beginning I heard you take a breath, inhale and then exhale very quietly and I was wondering if you were at peace. With a breath that shallow could I ever love you? I wondered. Strangely, when I asked if you were at peace the breadth of your lungs seemed to expand with new depth and dimension, that’s when I saw all the room left. Such an immense capacity you have and that’s when I thought you could surely hold me there too. It was then, I’m sure of it. You were with me from the very beginning, almost startling.

So why don’t I love you anymore? That’s a good question. See it’s just a feeling. Like the hair at the very beginning of its follicle, the root of the problem. It’s that stiff-end that you brush through and even if you shave it all off it will still grow just a little, wax and shine it if you must but really, it will always come back just a little even if you tried all the aforementioned. Yes, I think that is a good way to analogize it, it will always be there. Words can be elongated into elegant sentences, humorous and catchy, you can grow them out but somehow never erase them completely and that is the very crux of this automaton relation that we are forming. I don’t want to always just be there. I wanted something… a little longer, you know? Maybe you don’t. Dreams are often fleeting and when I dreamt of your heart I could see your face. Now I’m the shallow one, a second so fulfilling is a long time after all.

I know, maybe you love me too. It’s hard to say what love is exactly. Sometimes I think it’s just when my heart beats a little faster or I start to feel a bit anxious. Sometimes I tap my foot rapidly but don’t tell anybody. In case you don’t drink coffee, that’s what it feels like when you have really good coffee. If you’re ever in town would you care for a cup? This time I’m being sincere. I don’t love you anymore so it’s just not like that and I think that makes for really good conversation. I already know that I am going to love speaking with you because words can be hurtful and bring tears to my eyes, so even if you choose to say those kinds of things, they’re just words. At least empty words, they don’t mean anything because I’m still lying and anything of an untrue nature simply doesn’t exist. That’s probably why I say maybe so often because it may be that. Dreams are just that aren’t they?

What did I mean by that? Well… that’s a not-so good kind of question about being fanciful and misleading. I’m going to be very serious now. You are — hard. Anatomically you are simply a wondrous design, to be alive and perhaps not so well, difficult at times and it’s really you that puts the meaning behind every word you say. When I dreamt of you, we were just talking casually but each second longer was additive to just how profound the same things you repeated became until I could really hear your voice. The expressions stopped being mismatched with the vocals proceeding and when I could see you, that was beautiful. The color in your face reflected the laughter, disapproval and suffocation of such words from me to you. I couldn’t help but smile and think, isn’t this wonderful? You and I, having this conversation about whether or not we loved each other and yet we don’t even know one another. So tell me, could it be that love exists or it just words and make-believe?

© The Sad Owl

Smile

Purveyor of emotions

Could not sell a smile 

Kisses from hell are passionate 

Would you not take me with you? 

Life disappears in a motion

We only breathe a while

Lost in desire, left behind a passion pit 

The things we seek after are few

Safety for the soul

Peace for our rest 

Warmth to hold the cold

Wishing all the best

The hot air of your breath

No longer whisper the words 

That made me smile freely 

You can’t buy happiness

© The Sad Owl

Path Finders

Fireworks in the sky mark the grand finale

Color depth in the night hides amongst the stars

Explosions in my heart appreciative of the eyes

Looking down at the pages I write

Steadfast and nimble tracing letters

Words forming the foundation of my spirit

Happy

Even if I am always sad

To see you smile even if

Only the corner of my lip will lift

My soul reavers; take parts of me

I give to you so happily

My treasures for the world to see

You shine so brightly, lovely

Blinding o’ readers mine

I can’t see as we entwine

In paths of abstract lines

Find me

© The Sad Owl

Sleeping Sunrise

The aurum of just after day

Sincere and so serene

Golden sets of mannequins, they’re reaching for the sea

The plastic wishes fragile yet extreme

Washes away in our sleeping sunsets

I guess

No let’s —

Find our ever-after

Bathed in moonlit matter

Neon lights and laughter

Drunken stupor or dragging dancer

Just questions with no answers

Knowing that tomorrow is another day

Lie here in a dream

Runaway Anticipation

Breaking down anatomy

Lattice of our system chemically

Off the grid you won’t ever see me

Human desires; look upon me keenly

The hunt for the things that make us happy

Desperately, I run from obligations bound to trap me

How could it be you want the same so badly

Lust and love revolve in circles madly

A game of tag you almost had me

Time is never enough so sadly

Our feet are covered sandy

Slowing down; now knee deep, the hourglass succumbs to gravity

Cover us and all we see till nothing is left and we’ve had it we

Can no longer run in this desert under the sun, can it be?

The holes revealed in speculation of our little canopy

No longer shades your intentions for having me

Committing all the sins of simply living happily

© The Sad Owl

Clarity

The sky that day was grey and somber

With a happiness that turned to sadness

She went away like lightning

And the thunder of my choked up cries, they followed

And though the rain was heavy

The lightning still ignited fire in it’s tempest

She no longer the temptress

And like that it spread, a forest fire

My dreams reignited

Long forgotten in the days

Where the sky was blue

But now that blue lies with you

And in the light of day I hid away, for us

The sky with it’s clouds became a canvas

And on the grey and sullen, dirty peppered

Aged and cracked, face of mine

I opened my eyes to see the world

So that I could retake me

Not the sun or sky of a daydream happiness

But the courage to weather the storm and smile in the rain

Looking up with raindrops rolling down my chin and cheeks

Even in the miles of grey, it’s never been so clear